This is hard. It’s week 10 in my cancer journey and I am in such a precarious position. Terrie is managing to get more than 2000 calories a day into me with her calorie cocktails, but if anything happens along the way, there is no recovering. In the past several days, I have missed one of my drinks due to throwing up because of the mucous in my throat. Those calories are gone. I am weak and still unable to talk although there are signs of change. My voice is no longer just a squeak. I am trying to get as much water into me as I can. Yet, try is often not enough. Things seem to be different nearly every day. I feel pretty good, except for the mucous. The saliva goo is better than it was but with me constantly. I don’t need painkillers so haven’t had to take morphine in days. My throat is actually ok. Continuous sleep remains a luxury with all the spitting. Terrie is stressed and worried and I am no help to her. She sees what she sees and feels what she feels. I have clearly lost more weight but don’t have a clue how much. That’s a concern. I am told by my friends who have been through this hell that I am a couple of weeks away from dabbling with solid food. If the mucous thing would subside I’d be a happier person. Still, I choose to be an optimist. I choose to believe that a significant breakthrough is near. I don’t know how anyone can get through this without support. Terrie has been phenomenal.
Ted
