We were warned. For the two weeks following the final radiation treatment, expect it to get worse before it gets better. Razor blades and morphine. It feels like I am cooking from the inside out. A brutal week to be sure. Still can’t speak, only squeak and grunt. The saliva glue is coming out of me about every 15 to 20 minutes, 24/7 so neither one of us is getting much sleep. Morphine has been my best friend for the past couple of days but if you’ve ever taken morphine you know about the instant constipation. I’m taking pills to combat the side effects of pills. The good news is that the heat emanating from my neck due to the radiation, seems to be subsiding. I feel like I am close to a break through moment. A point in the process where I can truly believe recovery is underway. I want to drive my car again. It’s been a month. So, we fight on.
I have been trying to remember the last time I had solid food. What was it? Why did I stop eating it? It may have been a waffle and I may have stopped because of an inability to keep it down. These questions are raised in the interest of returning to solid food soon. What will I try first? How will that go? It will depend on my throat. Chewing and swallowing. I can tell you this. More and more each day I am thinking about real food and my guess is that’s a good thing.
I am also thinking about exercising, getting out of the house, having a conversation and going back to work. I need my strength back and the patience to know when.